Moving To The United States: A Reflection

As most of you may know at this point, I am an international student who moved to the United States on August 21, 2014. I came to the United States as a university freshman at the age of eighteen. I remember the moment I landed almost as though it happened just yesterday— that moment was such a rush of excitement and mystery for me. I was a young child on the verge of starting a new phase in my life.

However, life in the United States was not as dream-like as I thought it would be. Issues ranging from academic difficulties to culture shock started to plague my college experiences. Now, the average reader would expect me to use this article to rant and complain about my woes and struggles, but I won’t do that. As you may have figured out, I am a reflective individual. I like to look back to find out what I have missed. So, that is exactly what I am going to use this article to do.

With every choice I made back in the day, there is a moment when I wished that I had asked for help instead of taking the decision to try to tackle my concerns on my own. I plan on using these feelings of regret to inform you, that you all have the option to ask for help! It is never too late to ask for the help that you deserve. I recommend you reach out now to get the help that you need to succeed in your English learning endeavors! Email us now at levelupproficiency@gmail.com to work with us in personalizing your own learning strategy and goals.

Without any further delay, let me tell you the story of how I made the stupid decision to not seek help at every turn:

I. Friendships and Culture Shock

It all started when I realized how hard it was to make friends in a new country. I always found it difficult to communicate and share ideas with my peers. I had no idea how to even greet people who pass me by! To be honest, this was more than just an issue with language. It was one of the most prominent side-effects of culture shock.

In my experiences, people in my home country communicate very differently than people in the U.S. For instance, people in the West tend to be more distant than those in my home country. I was very offended when people choose not to smile back at me. In addition, there were several issues that I faced while trying to make friends: one of them was not even knowing most of the cultural aspects of their conversations.

I remember when I was trying to join into a conversation that revolved around something called a “high school prom”. At first, I remember asking myself “what in the world are they talking about?” I thought of every way necessary to try to get the context of the conversation and try to get the definition of the term “prom”. Believe me, that is not as easy as it sounds. For every question I was too scared to ask, I felt like even more of an outsider during my time in this country.

At this moment is when I started to feel like I was an unacknowledged presence. I felt that the fact that I was sitting there as more of a nuisance than an appreciated acquaintance. That is the moment where I should have reached out for help.

From personal experience, I think that it is fair to say that culture shock is one of the hardest battles that you will have to face if you decide to move to a new country; this can even apply when you move to a new state! Whatever the case may be, it is a fight that you have to face nonetheless. At times like this, it is a very wise thing to have someone familiar with the culture and the customs of the new country/state by your side. In my case, it would have been very helpful for me to make a friend from the United States. Not only would that have given me the comfort of having an ally at my side, but it would also have given me the chance to voice my questions.

Take my anecdote as an example, if I had a friend I felt comfortable around or a friendly face at the very least, I could have simply overcome this issue by asking my ally the question “what is a high school prom?”. Although I was able to gain the friends I needed to ask that question a year after that incident, it still would have helped to have one then.

If I have any advice for you, it is to be aware of all the friendly faces around you. Make sure that you have at least one ally by your side. That can actually be of real help when it comes to overcoming problems such as homesickness, culture shock and more.

II. Academic and Professional Hiccups

The aforementioned issues extended far beyond the socialization and cultural adjusting aspects of my life on to the more academic facets of my stay in this country. Now, this goes back to the problems in academic writing and communicating that I have expressed in prior articles. Here is when I retell the tale of when I got a bad grade for my lack of English Proficiency and the special predicaments I had to go through as an ESL student who just decided to declare English Literature as her major.

I will not go into full detail of my woes in this regard as they have been previously expressed. If you missed my post on what these woes were, check it out here: https://levelupproficiency.blogspot.com/2019/06/learning-english-things-not-to-do.html
I will, however, reiterate my point by saying that I was truly lost out by hiding my concerns and keeping them to myself.

In my naive mind, I was under the illusion that seeking help of any kind is a sign that I am not capable of keeping up with the curriculum at school; in other words, I thought that showing weakness meant that I did not belong.

While I still struggle with fighting these foolish ideologies that seem to have planted themselves into my psyche, I am in a place where I can say with certainty that it will be an unwise decision on your part if you succumb to these thoughts the way that I did.

If I have one piece of advice for you, reach out! If you find that you are having difficulty understanding what is expected of you from your class assignments, reach out to someone now! I am telling you, the first few seconds of anxiety and embarrassment is worth it if you have the opportunity to have an even footing with the rest of your classmates. Think of it this way, it is actually unfair for you to continue to keep silent if you are not able to gain equal access to the material. In my honest opinion, language barriers actually contribute to students not being able to understand, and thus, “access” the materials needed for them to participate and flourish in the classroom!

If this is something that you are going through, I really think it would be best if you heed this advice and ask someone! If you truly have an issue speaking to the instructor or any of your classmates, you can still reach out to us! We are more than happy to help you with whatever it is that you need to allow you to put the best version of yourself in the academic setting.

Please note, this advice does not restrict itself to the classroom setting! Similar issues can occur in the workspace as well! The language barrier created by lack of proficiency may manifest themselves in different ways, but they still create the same dreadful isolating ripple that creates unnecessary discomfort and separation. So, if you are a working professional, please do not feel ashamed! Please do not hesitate to reach out to us and get the help that you need.

In fact, I distinctly remember a policy that we had in the tutoring nook that I  worked in when I was an undergraduate. I remember that my boss told me that it was more than alright (even encouraged) that we ask the help of fellow colleagues when we do not know/have something that our client wants/needs. I remember doing this so often that I actually lost count! Let me tell you, it was a relief when I heard my boss say this. Not only did I feel more confident while working, but I also used this opportunity to get closer to my coworker and form bonds that have lasted even to this day.

As I have mentioned in my previous point and as I will be saying so again, there is nothing wrong or embarrassing if you look for an ally or a helping hand. In fact, asking for help is one of the greatest signs of strength. It shows the people around you that you are willing to face any obstacles in your path and have it become a strength. Asking for help is nothing short of you taking the right first-step to present your best self to the world.

Whether it is reaching out to a friend, a boss, a teacher, or even if it means reaching out to us, please reach out to someone as soon as you can! It will be the greatest decision that you will make!

-R.M, 2nd Year English MA Student